I think often about what I have to look forward to. I need something at least within the month that I can cast my eyes towards and fix my heart upon. The anticipation is much of the enjoyment, if not most of it. Reality has such a propensity for disappointing expectations, but the pessimism in that statement is not my point right now. Because it does not always disappoint, and there are many times when living the reality is better than imagining it precisely because it is real.
There is a gap, then, between the lead-up and the culminating event. Both are better than the other and both pale in comparison. It means they cover one another. A dazzling expectation can compensate for a lackluster reality, just like a banal vision can be redeemed by an exceptional execution.
It means that I can always be a little on the edge of my seat, a little waiting-to-see-what-this-will-be. Which will outshine the other this time? How will they compliment one another? What will the hopes and the reality teach me? Will they change how I approach the next thing I look forward to?
I think it adds zest. To overhype somethings, to under-hype others. To make an educated guess on what an experience will be like and then to have that guess be incorrect. Disappointment may arise, but so might delight. Wonder might show up. Or there might be a smattering of it all.
I am here to experience. I will take it all. All of it. Any feeling that comes along, I will taste it. I may not like what I find, but the point is not to like, it is to try. Messy cocktail of expectations and experiences and feelings—I want it all.
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