Another project I have begun—but not yet finished—is sewing a skirt. I drafted the pattern myself, studying the construction of an A-line skirt I already own and adore, taking notes on it, analyzing it, and then modifying it to suit me even more. I love the skirt I currently own, but what if I had one that was slightly bigger, slightly longer, and blue? I could shop around for it. Or, I could make it.
It was a passing thought one day, but it made me pause.
I could make it.
And once I had the thought that I could, there was no second consideration. I would.
I drafted the pattern myself, researched fabric with the structure and drape I wanted for the skirt, bought on massive sale what was left on a bolt at a Joannes as they cleaned out their inventory in preparation for their closure, found a free iron on facebook marketplace (because apparently I have survived quite a while by simply borrowing from others), re-taught myself how to thread a bobbin and otherwise reacquainted myself with my sewing machine, and then finally started sewing the skirt. Sometime soon I will need to learn how to use interfacing and, specifically, how I need to use interfacing when sewing in a zipper. I will also need to learn how to sew in a zipper.
The great delight of this project was how little I knew beforehand. I’ve always wanted to be able to sew my own clothes—it was really the only reason I cared to learn to sew. It’s always been my secret vision. People did it, so I knew it was possible, but it also seemed like an impossibly high mountain. I knew how to sew, I’ve sewn a few bags, a few blankets, a few pillowcases, dozens of hours worth of teddy bears…that sort of thing. I’ve sewn pennants and re-attached buttons, but never have I sewn an article of clothing from scratch. You hear about how difficult sewing is, how frustrating it is, and that cowed me for a long time from ever really digging in to learn.
Still…I have sewed before. I had a class in high school that re-instructed me, years after my mom taught me, hand over hand, how to threat a bobbin, how to feed fabric gently, how much pressure to put on the foot, how to anchor seams. She let me pick fabric for her projects. She taught me how much love you can put in every stage of the sewing process.
Between those two, I knew I had the bare-bones knowledge of how to use a sewing machine and enough hours under my belt that sewing a skirt felt feasable. I’d consider myself
to have just enough of a base to be barely out of intermediacy. And something in me lately is not so content with taking the easy way through.
Thus, I reasoned that the only way I would learn more about sewing was by actually trying my hand at something I’ve never done before, something a little outside of my skill level. Sewing with satin, using interfacing, sewing a zipper—all of those felt like achievable challenges. Drafting a pattern, creating it from my own measurements, determining how much fabric to buy, figuring out what type of stitches to use, exploring the stitch settings on my machine, creating a garment I don’t have a clear tutorial for…all of those also felt achievable, but like they would challenge me. They seemed like tasks that I could find resources for if I needed it, but ones that, if I focused, if I gave it my time and my energy and my thought, that I could solve.
It wouldn’t be perfect. There was no way. Approaching a project beyond my experience level in so many ways would never lead to a perfect result. That’s part of the challenge. Being okay with imperfection, with graceless learning. It’s also why I am posting these June posts without as extensive editing as I would prefer to do. Graceless learning. Pushing a little beyond comfort. That is where learning and growth take place.
For the most part, I have solved the puzzles I made for myself. I have yet to do the zipper—and have no idea yet how to start it—but I have solved all the other problems that have arisen. Across the last few weeks, this skirt has gone from a random inspired challenge to something that actually kind of resembles a garment. Soon it will be among the other inhabitants of my closet.
I am proud of myself for choosing to challenge myself with this project. My willingness to take on challenges is one of my favorite things about myself. I recognize that staying within my comfort zone, operating within the bounds of what I’ve always known, will not help me grow. I want to grow. It turns out, I crave it. I can’t imagine a life in which I am not changing, in which I cannot look back upon my last month and see differences. Challenge, though arduous and often tedious to wade through, are a necessary flavor in my life. It takes my focus, it takes my thought, it takes my attention. Using those thrills me. Challenges teach me more about myself, they teach me more about my world. I relish the opportunity to meet myself, and to meet my world in new ways.
I am savoring this puzzle I created for myself. I will finish this skirt and I will wear it. Truthfully, I’m a little bit scared it will fall apart after after about three wears. But, if it does, I will navigate those challenges and make a better one next time. And, once I finish this skirt, I can start the dress I’ve begun cooking up
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