I stood on the edge of the dance floor, counting to the beat, watching the footwork of the dancing couples. Swing dance, partner two step, waltz. More. I watched a few line dances and joined in for some. The ones that had nearly the entire room rushing to the floor had me in that mix, too, whether I knew the song or dance or not. When everyone in the room knows it, it’s more likely to be an easier dance, one I can at least mostly pick up on the go by watching the moves of the people around me.
I danced for a few of the songs, but across most of the three-hour lesson and then free dance, I watched.
That doesn’t sit well with me anymore.
That’s how most of the country dance events that I’ve gone to have gone. I participate in the lesson, I head to the floor when they play the songs for the dances we learned that night, I accept the dances when I am asked to dance, every now and then I ask someone to dance, but, for most of the night, I am on the sidelines, watching.
At the beginning, that’s all I felt I could do. I knew absolutely nothing, and even what they’d gone over in the lesson, though I paid rapt attention, was lost on me. Watching from the sidelines was helpful—understanding the flow of the dances, the vibe of the group and the space.
Now, after going for about two months, I feel I have a better handle on it. I’m still not that good of a dancer, but I can pick up the patterns, I can figure out my way through a line or partner dance.
Still, I spend most of the time along the wall.
I’ve reached the point where studying will not help me in the ways I need. I can watch all night, but it’s not going to make me any better. I need to actually try it. I must get out onto the floor and practice. That means making myself an active participant in the event. It means asking people to dance, it means putting on a name-tag, which means “please ask me to dance”. If I want to get better, being a wallflower is not enough.
It’s what I’ve written here time and time again—I must put myself in situations beyond my skill—and comfort—level in order to expand them. Operating within ease will not take me where I want to go. That’s not the way I work, it’s not the way I want to work. I want to get better at dancing, which means next week, I’m headed for the floor.
